Will, Desire and Relationships: Two of Wands

When you accept differences and apparent conflicts, solutions become possible which change and increase your perspective.
— Gerd Ziegler, Tarot Mirror of the Soul

As you become more familiar with Tarot, certain cards resonate with different aspects of your life. I’ve found the Two of Wands—Dominion in the Thoth Deck—has come to represent the most important relationship in my life. Often, we think of relationships as being defined principally by emotions, and the Two of Cups—Love—or the Ten of Cups—Family—are common manifestations of ideal relationships.  But relationships can be represented by a variety of cards. The Two of Wands is a potent mixture of fire and water that can often characterize struggle, opposition, and competition. There can also be tremendous strength in being direct in your relationships and not being afraid to act as a foil for your partner’s desires. The powerful force of will from each partner combines to form a well-defined path for the relationship that is a strong foundation for challenges you encounter.

The Two of Wands focuses on expression of will, not so much the attainment of a goal. Aleister Crowley first describes this Lust of Result in The Book of the Law and then quotes it again in The Book of Thoth: “For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect” (AL I:44). Expectations stand in the way of participating fully in your relationship… and everywhere else. Following a strict, externally defined definition of what your relationship “should” be takes you out of your center.  The same could be said for simply following your partner’s definition of what the relationship should be. You could see these rules as an Emperor making an appearance, “violence suppressed with taboos,” refusing to see that destruction is the first act of the creative process. When this card characterizes your relationship, you’re only going to come into your power through challenges. Your strength and energy to move in new directions is fuelled when you express your strength and open yourself to the full force of your partner’s strength in return.